1. |
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VERSE I
I was coasting
in a distracted sort of way
it never struck me that anything would ever change
but I had this pain
I had this pain
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long, long, long, long, long
VERSE II
I am sweating
on my ripped soft toilet seat
as high humidity takes a hot piss onto me
I thirst for rain
I lust for rain
and how I've wanted it so long
and how I've wanted it so long
and how I've wanted it so long
and how I've wanted it so long
and how I've wanted it so long, long, long, long, long
BRIDGE
when I am older, I'll have so much more control
when I am older, I'll be such a wizened soul
when I am older, when I am older, when I am older
I will swallow my drool and die
VERSE III
in my garden
rare herbs take their time to grow
and as I sit down in my rocking chair
it hurts like I'm fucking old
because I dug this hole
I dug this hole
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long
and I ignored it for so long, long, long, long, long
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2. |
The NPC
06:49
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VERSE I
waltzing round and round again
never to leave
my two-tone 16-bit square
my sprite was programmed to die
in a language seldom spoken
aloud but by hackers and red-eyes
when you blunder through
with much left to do
enough for a white night
i can see you
i am the light that dances in the dust
i am no one
i am everything
that makes this world seem real
can’t you see me?
CHORUS
my ancillary point of view
is yours to ignore
my ancillary point of view
is yours to explore
where few deign to find more
where few dare to recognize
that they know me so well
for they know me so well
VERSE II
someday you might make a friend
who pulls you away from the LCD screen
but i'd watch you die all the time
for infinity
or at least until you've won
til this infinite loop says game over
when you blunder through
with much left to do
for one last white night
i already miss you
you are the light that dances in the dust
i am yours and this is everything
that i have ever known
how could you leave me?
CHORUS
my ancillary point of view
is yours to explore
my ancillary point of view
is yours to ignore
where few deign to find more
where few dare to recognize
that they know me so well
for they know me so well
for they know me so well
for they know me so well
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3. |
The Best Part of Knowing
04:07
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4. |
The Core of Me
04:49
|
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the cancer in me
festers like a flame
drowning out my core
til all I see composing me is
ragged flesh on bones
inviting me to let go
I don't know where to run
I’m wasted anywhere I go
and if I hide, who would even care?
change my name, cut off my hair
get it everywhere
I want to be drunk all the time
on my illusions of belonging
it's not the booze that's talking
I don’t care if what I want is real
‘cause what I can't have can’t destroy me
unless, of course, you toy with me
there's a stiffness in my mind
that ensconces all my pain
like a neck cone on a dog
never to be touched again
especially not to heal
it makes me think I'm broken
how much I never want to feel
why do you hang around me?
you've got tenderness cascading out your ears
I've been a bitch for years
lie about my fears
hide behind my jealous leers
my salty tears
lord, how effortless your eagerness
just how lawless is your heart?
alight in every hue
and what shocks me most of all
is how it doesn't make me hate you
no, I could never hate you if I tried
I can see right through your shell
that I give you what you need
like I’m someone you should feed
armchair psychiatrists be damned:
to stoke the love inside,
sometimes you need a pinch
especially when you’re tired
when all the world’s against me
you say you’re always on my side
it will take time to tell if that’s a lie
but there’s no rush
(or isn’t there?)
you caught me unaware
and the core of me
the core of me
where has it gone?
where has it gone?
I don't even need to know
you make me feel like it's safe to let go
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5. |
Oh My God
03:58
|
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I want to make a list of all the things I long to tell you
I want to be a part of all the things I know are part of you
why are you so lovely
and so afraid of losing everything
but I do not have the luxury
of being so demure when this
uncertainty is killing me much sooner
than the end I know that's coming
oh my god
oh my god
without you I am scar tissue
I want to be terrible with you
why can't there be more to think than this?
every hour the same
how could I be half as smart as you?
how can it be I am so uncouth?
why can't there be more to me than this bad news?
every day the same thumb ulcer
why are you so lovely
and so afraid of feeling everything
are you sure it’s such a shame that I could love you, too
the way the other violets do
still pining for someone like you
aloof like puddles on the moon
a coterie of shining spoons
a little bright, and very rude
a little sass to damn all fools
oh my god
oh my god
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